Sofia Abbas

I’ve always been interested in the way we associate certain words with certain people or places. Sometimes the word brings back a memory long forgotten, sometimes the significance of the word is as obvious as a song title or a name, and sometimes there doesn’t seem to be any reason for the association at all. No matter how or why these attachments started, the layered connotations that weave definitions of words together with our personal lives and histories are a strange and beautiful phenomenon. One that, ironically, I’ve never truly been able to describe with mere words.

Although I’ve been following K-pop and learning about Korean food/culture for several years now, I only started seriously studying the language recently. It’s not the first language I’ve learned for research but it’s the first time I’ve started studying a language after building a long relationship with the culture. It’s frustrating to realize how little I had picked up subconsciously. I think I had secretly hoped that I would have a head start but, while my knowledge of dishes and food words is unnecessarily robust, I can barely even recognize phrases I know I know when I hear them in normal conversation.

Still, as I wade through the flashcards and textbooks and grammar rules inherent in learning a language, there are a few words that spark surprisingly intense connections I didn’t even realize I had developed. Words that I never seem to forget, some that are obvious, some that feel poignant, and some that are just random. Here is a 10 + 1 of my favorites:

불: Bul means “fire” or “light,” but I remember it as part of the word “불놀이야” or “Bulnoriya” which is, of course, the title of the Ateez title track from Fever pt. 2. Fever pt. 2 was my first comeback as an Atiny, so it will always hold a special place in my heart although I think Fever pt. 3 was my favorite overall comeback experience as an Atiny so far. 불놀이야 literally means something along the lines of “playing with fire.” 

우산: I think this is usually romanized as Woosan, which of course is also how many people refer to the pairing of Wooyoung and San. 우산 means umbrella, and I remember that inspiring a very embarrassing poem that I thankfully can no longer find a trace of. I think it’s probably one of the first Korean words I learned directly because of the members, in addition to San’s name, of course (산 for mountain). 

하늘 and 별: San is also the reason I know 하늘 (Haneul), meaning sky/heavens. It’s one of my favorite Korean names and I have to keep stopping myself from using it in my writing because I think I tend to overuse it. 별 (Byeol) meaning star, which always reminds me of Star 1117 and Atiny. Our Strings of Fate was inspired by a cover of Star 1117 I wrote for my dog, so 별 also reminds me of that fic and my precious pup. 

화성 and 화: Keeping with the theme of member names, Seonghwa is the reason I’ll always remember 화성 (Hwaseong), meaning the planet Mars. He naturally also helps me remember 화 (Hwa, which has a few meanings including ‘flower’). 

나비: Nabi means “butterfly” and is a word I learned from one of my favorite K-dramas, It’s okay to not be okay. I don’t want to spoil it for anyone who hasn’t watched it, but I think if you have watched the drama you’ll understand why 나비 stood out to me! It’s okay not to be okay also inspired a Skz fic I wrote called “Little by Little.” Dancing Like Butterfly Wings is a song that helped me through a difficult time a few years ago, which adds a little layer to the meaning of the word for me. 

바람: Balam means wind, and I’ll always have a soft spot for the word because I named the Yeosang’s horse in “No matter where the winds of fate may blow” after it. 

안몰안구: I honestly have no idea where I came across this, or if I even have the correct translation for it, but I think this means “Don’t know, don’t care.” It’s not super useful in day to day life because it’s ruder than I’d like to be to my Korean professor, but it has stuck in my mind ever since I first heard it and it’s one of my favorites! 

시간: Sigan/Shigan means “time,” and is from the only Korean phrase in my current favorite song from The Rose (which is, of course, titled “Time”). The phrase is 시간을 그려, which loosely means “draw time.” I only discovered The Rose recently (around Coachella) but they’ve rapidly become one of my favorite groups and I love all of their songs. Time strikes a particular chord with me, and I also really like Eclipse. Their lead singer, Woosung, also has a lot of great solo music of which my current favorite is “Phase me.” 

Finally, we have 항상. 항상 is actually the word that inspired me to write this post to begin with. It means “always” and is one of those seemingly mundane words that stood out to me one time even though I’m sure I’ve heard it hundreds of times before. I remember watching the Two Kids Room episode with Seungmin and Changbin from a few years ago. Changbin asked if, despite his cutesy behavior, he ever felt like a dependable older brother to Seungmin. Seungmin’s immediate answer was 항상, and it just so happened that 항상 had also been on my vocabulary week that week I was watching the video. 

It’s just a simple word, but somehow that connection has given the word a deeper meaning to me in both English and Korean. There’s something beautifully constant about the word always, and about friendships that are so enduring you don’t have to worry about putting up a front because your friend will always know the truth of who you are. 

And that is why, for me, 항상 will always be a word to remember.